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How I Became a Brood Mare and Egg Donor for the Church and State: Rape is TortureCoral Anika Theill Salem-News.com
Part 3 of 6: Unlawful, malicious, criminal acts have been committed against me and my children by judges, attorneys and religious, hostile courtroom witnesses.
(SALEM) - LIFE Magazine, USA Today and many other magazines have featured articles on women in prison in America. They report that women prisoners are allowed to keep their babies with them for eighteen months while serving their sentences, (Florida Statute 944.24). I am haunted by this single question. Why was I treated lower than a criminal by Oregon's judicial law system? I was a faithful wife and mother for almost twenty years. Presently, I have fewer rights than a criminal in America and I have no criminal record and have no history of alcohol, drug or child abuse.
"When courts blame victims and fail to hold abusers accountable, they reinforce abuser behavior, subvert justice, disempower the victims, teach children that abusive behavior is permissible and may even be rewarded, and reinforce the cycle of violence. Most batterers know they can bring criminal and contempt charges at no expense to the abusers, but they take an enormous financial and emotional cost on their victims. The result is that many abusive men drag on the litigation and file spurious claims openly acknowledging they are trying to drive their victims onto welfare or into homelessness; half of all homeless women and children in the U.S. are homeless because of domestic violence." - Joan Zorza, Esq
I believe to heal from our trauma, we must be able to tell the absolute truth and face it squarely. Alienation from our memories dooms us to live in a constant present, cut off from the past and the future. I remember so I can help others see that they can help themselves.
I am sharing intimate details of my life because a grave injustice has been committed. My situation begs for resolution and justice. Unlawful, malicious, and criminal acts have been committed against me and my children by judges, attorneys and religious, hostile witnesses [Betsy Close] in a courtroom of law. My story and transcripts not only reveal a lifetime of child abuse, marital abuse, and the ritual abuse of religion, it exposes the physical and mental abuse a woman is subjected to in our “judicial system.” This case remains unchallenged.
I was physically and mentally incapacitated during the time of my illness and unable to consent, and suffered repeated sexual assaults [rapes] by my husband, Mr. Marty Warner. My children were allowed to remain with the man accused of these crimes. My contact with them was completely, suddenly and arbitrarily removed per a Court Order by Judge Albin Norblad on March 10, 1996.
Mr. John Benson, an attorney working on my case in Mr. Gearings’ office, stated, "Kathy, [Coral] you need a criminal lawyer not a divorce attorney. By legal definition, Mr. Warner could be charged with ten counts of kidnapping." That was his view of my having been forced to go to all the cult meetings and "counseling" sessions with abusive counselor, Mr. Bill Heard and others against my will. In 1994, I was also dropped off at the "Wings of Love" half-way house, on Killingsworth, Portland, Oregon, and the Bill Gothard Indianapolis training center in Indianapolis for "God to break me," Mr. Warner and his pastors said.At the Bill Gothard Institute, during a time I was experiencing post-partum depression, a breakdown and partial stroke, the abusive Christian employees at the Bill Gothard Institute told me God was punishing me because I had a "Jezebel spirit" and had not learned to submit to my husband and God's authorities. I was accused of witchcraft and they tried, through prayer and exorcism, to cast demons out of me on a daily basis. (My husband and his counselors believed that psychology was in error to the Word of God.)
Mr. Bill Gothard is charismatic, just as Jim Jones was. His organization (Bill Gothard Institue) and ideology can be classified as a cult. He is well respected and admired by millions of fundamental Christians in America and city and government officials, but he uses oppression, brainwashing and mind control tactics to deceive. I remember feeling traumatized by the leaders at the institute. While I was being spiritually and mentally abused by Bill Gothard's staff, I remember I looked at myself in the mirror, touching my reflection and saying, "Kathy all gone, Kathy all gone." She was. (Read article on my experiences at the Bill Gothard training center published at Alternet.org http://www.alternet.org/
Judge Albin Norblad laughs about Rape during court hearings
Judge Norblad’s lengthy career has included a number of controversial and high profile cases. As a juvenile court judge during the 1970’s, Norblad made hundreds of unpopular decisions, reportedly sending more youths to MacLaren Youth Correctional Facility than any other judge in the state. He is known as the “hanging judge.”
In 2002, the judge was disciplined by the Oregon Commission on Judicial Fitness and Disability with a thirty-day suspension following a drunk driving incident, an action which was upheld on appeal to the state Supreme Court.
On March 1, 1996, during the temporary custody hearing, Judge Albin Norblad asked my husband, while he was on the witness stand and under oath, why he had impregnated me during the time I was suffering a mental/nervous breakdown.
POLK COUNTY OREGON COURT TRANSCRIPT March 1996
JUDGE NORBLAD: "Sir, I have one question. Maybe this is curiosity, more than it has to do with the case. If your wife was going through so much emotional difficulties, she realized it, and you realized it, why did you attempt to have an additional child and two pregnancies?
My friends and I wonder what Mr. Warner meant by, "I was very committed to doing my part to avoid a pregnancy." These two pregnancies pushed my health farther over the edge. It was not a humorous situation. What is humorous about rape?
Helen Benedict 1992, Virgin or Vamp wrote, "I prefer to characterize rape simply as a form of torture. Like the torturer, the rapist is motivated by the urge to dominate, humiliate and destroy his victim. Like a torturer, he does so by using the most intimate acts available to humans - sexual ones."
Throughout our marriage Mr. Warner often referred to me as a "cow or a horse in need of being bred." Mr. Warner insisted on sexual relations immediately before and after the birth of each my eight children. He had no regard for the risk of infection he subjected me to or the pain he caused. He used me sexually when I was physically ill and during my breakdown.
The most painful and insidious act committed against me was being raped by my ex-husband during the period of my physical/mental nervous breakdown in 1993-1994.
Until now, to survive the court trauma and shock, I kept my feelings regarding the rapes deep within me. I can't find that woman,–the empty shell with bandaged wrists any more. She was mentally gone, spiritually stripped and being used like a whore and a brood mare by the man who "legally owned her."
This fact leaves me at a loss for words and is probably one of the reasons I felt compelled to change my name. I don't know Kathy Hall, anymore. I believe the day she was raped while so physically, mentally and emotionally broken, she died.
Severe trauma can so impact our ability to recognize our self, that even the face in a mirror is a stranger.
On April 22, 1999, I legally changed my name to Coral Anika Theill at the Marion County Courthouse, in Salem, Oregon. Kathy Hall was laid to rest.
Andrea Dworkin, in her book, Intercourse, analyzes the institution of sexual intercourse and how that institution, as defined and controlled by patriarchy, has proven to be a devastating enslavement of woman.
I was not the only woman Mr. Warner treated badly. Between 1993-1994, Mr. Warner was a supervisor over Debbie Custis, at Hewlett Packard. Sexual harassment allegations on a gender basis were reported against Mr. Marty Warner by fellow employees and a former supervisor who worked with Ms. Custis. He continually harangued her that she should be at home–women did not belong in the work place, and he made suggestive and disparaging comments when they disagreed, such as, “I don’t know if this is a personal problem we’re having or if this is something you are going through at this time of the month.” (Court Affidavit and Documentation http://coralanikatheill.com/Documentation_-_Letters.html).
Mr. Warner was never reprimanded for his behavior and suffered no consequences. Ms. Custis found Mr. Warner's derogatory attitude towards women so difficult she tried to transfer to another department. She was hired by another department within the company, but her supervisor and facilities manager would not allow her to transfer. Mrs. Custis is still healing from the abuse she suffered from Mr. Warner on the job site and worked in the same department with Mr. Warner until he transferred to Clair Company, Corvallis, Oregon, in the fall of 2001.
Two other women who he abused in the workplace and in our own home also contacted me. One of them sought the assistance of an attorney, the second women regrets that she did not have the monies to seek legal help and protection from Mr. Warner.
When I was six to ten years old, my narcissistic and sadistic mother trafficked me each night. I was sent to an upstairs apartment where my alcoholic great-uncle lived. He was a convicted murderer (killed his seven year old daughter) and a convicted sex offender (raped his three daughters). I was repeatedly molested each night during these years. I begged for help, but no help came. During my elementary years, I was also severely beaten by my step-grandfather.
My mother received great satisfaction observing the abuse I suffered. She was cold and demanding. My life with my mother was portrayed in the movies, “Carrie” and “Mommy Dearest.” She passed away in 2010. While speaking to her by phone, she expressed no remorse for what she had done to me. Just hearing her voice re-traumatized me. In her letters, she acknowledged what she did to me, but felt no responsibility.
Throughout the years I did not harbor feelings of resentment or bitterness toward my mother, great-uncle, and my abusers, but instinctively knew, even as a young child, I had been violated and those who were suppose to protect me had taken something very sacred of mine.
Feelings of shame, uncertainty and chaos would haunt me in the years to come as a result of living in a home where no one listened and boundaries were violated. The memories of my childhood were painful because those I looked to for guidance and protection never “showed up.”
Because I confronted my mother about the abuse I suffered several years ago, she disinherited me and left her and my brother’s sizeable estate to my well-to-do cousin, Beverly Moerke, Walla Walla, WA, and me, $1.00. Beverly, a devout Catholic, sent me a $1.00 check this past year. Even though I live under poverty level due to disabilities, I never cashed the check. Friends confronted Ms. Moerke, but there was no response from her.
Although my home life as a child was very difficult, I became a pilot at age 17, passed my FAA exams, was a straight A student, co-valedictorian, President of honor society, volunteer worker and secretary/court reporter for two Washington State Superior Court Judges by the age of 19.
I was stalked and brutally raped by Marty Warner at age 19, in Longview, WA. Mr. Warner was six years older than me. There was no one to tell, nowhere to go. Due to the fundamental Christian ideology I had been exposed to, I was pressured to believe I had to marry the person who raped me. Christian friends and leaders said I was damaged merchandise - their interpretation.
I spoke with Marty Warner a month before our wedding date about calling off the wedding. He dismissed my concerns as exaggerations and "cold feet." Due to the eighteen previous years of severe child abuse: beatings, emotional, verbal and sexual abuse, I had very few assertive or confrontational skills to voice my opinions. I was easy prey for a predator such as Mr. Warner.
I had not yet learned the spiritual principles of following your own intuition, your life force, and creating harmony and balance in one's daily life. I was caught up in a web of those who had assumed a role of authority in my life. I allowed others to bring their chaos into my life.
When I married my ex-husband, Marty Warner, his religious belief system and controlling personality was a continuation of all that I knew and was familiar with from my childhood–destructive and devitalizing from religious brainwashing. Like my mother, my husband was a narcissist and sociopath. They see themselves as "martyrs." In their minds, they are superior to everyone.
I believe, until healed from our past, we continue to attract the lessons into our lives that will someday bring us wholeness.
In the years that followed my husband expected me to speak, represent and teach "his truths" while in his presence and his absence. I was not allowed to express my own beliefs and spiritual truths. Mr. Warner would become violent when I did not conform to all his wishes. I often would share with my children, "I am only doing this because I must obey your father."
Physically, I stayed in the marriage for almost twenty years. Mentally, my bags were packed. No one ever becomes accustomed to abuse and emotional blackmail.
The inner struggle throughout the years of being forced to obey a man who did not love me or care for my well-being became increasingly confusing for me as I tried to honor my marriage vows. Although, I was encouraged by many well-meaning men and women that this was “God’s will” for me, and that obeying my husband was pleasing to God, I could not understand why I felt so miserable. I felt like I was dying. I couldn’t understand why God would orchestrate a system (marriage) that would oppress an individual and strip them of their rights.
Inwardly, I despised being treated like a second-class citizen while being told that this was “love.”
Mr. Warner seemed obsessed throughout our marriage with the evils of the feminist movement and women’s rights in our society and often required me to send books he approved, e.g., Mary Pride’s book, The Way Home, to women friends and acquaintances. I later realized this was just another way of him isolating me from women who had been a part of my life.
Most women were repulsed by this book and sent it back. Mr. Warner’s ideology – no contraception – was consistent with the “Quiverful Movement.” http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/
Mr. Warner would often comment that working under a woman at work was in direct violation of his Scriptural convictions. He also had problems with the fact that his fellow co-workers were women. He believed that women belonged at home. Mr. Warner was an avid supporter of Phyllis Schlafly and Concerned Women of America and presently supports the ministry of Brannon Howse. http://www.worldviewweekend.
I was not allowed access to money or knowledge about our finances. I was forbidden to work outside the home or attend college classes. I was allowed to buy groceries and I purchased most of the children's and my clothes and household items at second-hand shops. I was not free to talk to friends or family members. My husband read my incoming and outgoing mail. I was not allowed to read a newspaper. He told me what books I could read and burned books of mine if he disapproved. In the early 1990’s, Mr. Warner forced me to watch the Rush Limbaugh program, which I found oppressive.
Shunned by Christian/Catholic Cult
In 1984, I left a Christian/Catholic cult community called “People of Praise” my husband had forced me to attend. I also left the Catholic Church in 1986. This was the beginning of months and years of emotional and verbal threats from my husband. I was shunned by my husband and the cult leaders and members due to my “disobedience” to my husband and the leaders. Mr. Warner badgered me daily and asked me, “Whose church authority are you going to be under?” I simply stated, “no one,” that I just wanted the right to ‘be.’ This was an unsatisfactory answer for Mr. Warner.
Many friends, including Betsy and Chris Close, were aware of Mr. Warner’s rage and violent behavior towards me because I was no longer attending the ‘People of Praise” cult or the Catholic Church with him. They offered a room in their house should the children and I ever need to escape for safety reasons. I kept diapers for my baby and clothes for the children in the tire compartment of our station wagon for a period of six months or more.
In the early years of our marriage, my husband had made it very clear to me, that if I ever tried to leave, his "empire" would remain intact. The estate was his, and in his opinion, the children were a part of his estate. Whatever I had brought into the marriage was his.
After our marriage in 1976, he took over my accounts and my car and cashed the life insurance policy I bought when I was twelve years old. My properties became his properties. I wasn't aware of how I was becoming enslaved one day at a time.
During the two year episode of my breakdown (1993-1994), I was mentally, emotionally and physically incapacitated. Mr. Warner refused to acknowledge that I was experiencing serious problems. Instead, he and his religious counselors told me and my children that I had a "spiritual problem" and God was punishing me because I had not learned how to submit to my husband and the religious authorities God had placed over me. I looked within my soul and couldn't remember when I had not obeyed except for times I intervened when Mr. Warner was verbally, emotionally or physically harming my children.
In 1993, a former neighbor and friend, Ms. Karen Lague, expressed concerns to one of my physicians, Dr. Roger Jacobson, that I was trying to deal with my difficulty by controlling my thoughts and working with some unlicensed Christian counselors. At this time, my husband, Betsy Close, my husband’s mother, Helen Warner, and my husband’s friends and his counselor, Bill Heard, convinced me, while in my weakened mental state, that I had a “sin” problem and that going to psychiatrists and taking medications was “evil.”)
Birth of my 8th Child, Zachary
Zachary David is born at Albany General Hospital, Albany, Oregon, on July 13, 1995. Mr. Warner tried to interfere with the physicians saving my life. The doctors threatened to have him removed from the hospital room. I was hemorrhaging. I stayed in the hospital, per doctors’ orders, for three days. Zachary and I shared a close bond. I have not seen him since 1998 due to Court Orders, poverty and the fact that I live under a state address protection program from his father, Marty Warner.
My children’s spiritual advisors are from Bridgeport Community Church, Monmouth, Oregon, and unfortunately, Santiam Christian School. A kindergarten teacher at Santiam Christian School announced, in front of the class and parents, that my youngest son, Zachary, had been abandoned by his mother (me) and that was why he was not participating in making a “Mother’s Day gift.” This was a lie and a horrific statement to say to a child! Parents who witnessed this incident phoned me to share their disapproval of the teacher’s comments.
Benton County District Attorney John Haroldson and Dr. Barbara May, Professor of Nursing, Linfield College, offered to professionally speak to the teachers and administration of Santiam Christian School in 2003, but the administration wanted nothing to do with hearing from these two experts and learning any truth about my case. I sought an attorney to assist me with legal rights due to my children’s school records. To date, Santiam Christian School did not adhere to Oregon law in this matter.
Last year I called my oldest son and asked him if he would tell my son, Zachary, who is still a minor, that I remembered his birthday. I said, “Don't tell Zachary Happy Birthday for me, or else I will get contempt orders from the Court, but tell him I reminded you about his birthday. I broke down and wept as I relayed this message because it was just too crazy and insane!
Creating Healthy Boundaries
I choose to relinquish custody of my children in the fall of 1996 because I knew my older children were brainwashed and despised me. I also had no monies for ongoing court costs. My decision to not seek custody of my baby and younger children was a message to all eight of my children that they were loved equally.
As I was climbing the stairs to relinquish custody through a deposition, I collapsed. I remember going numb. My basic material instincts were being forcibly cut away. I did not believe relinquishing custody was the right thing to do. The courts gave me NO CHOICE, as you cannot choose one child over another. Experts also acknowledged the fact that if I had custody of any of my children, I would most likely be stalked and/or end up dead, due to my ex-husband’s belief that his patriarchal empire remains intact.
Benton County District Attorney John Haroldson read my book in 2003. He introduced me at a speaking engagement and wrote a wonderful review for my published book, BONSHEA: Making Light of the Dark at Amazon.com. In November 2003 he wrote the “Forward” for my upcoming book about abuse and recovery:
“Just as important as it is to realize that yearning for chaos is not in your nature, it is equally important to remind oneself that others thrive on chaos. That is their nature. Therefore, any association you have with such a person will necessarily include the chaos they introduce into the equation. I don’t think we ever stop exposing ourselves to such people, for it is as much a part of human existence as anything else. What we do learn however is how to create healthy boundaries so we do not continue to place ourselves in a situation where we expose ourselves to the greatest degree of injury. “In a way, it’s similar to the lessons we learn about fire. We depend on it, but maintain a safe boundary where we can function without getting burned. That’s not to say that there isn’t a time when we have to learn the hard way - a time when we touch the flame, and feel the burn. It’s just that once we feel the pain, we learn something, and then create a healthier boundary that allows us to coexist. The biggest difference between this “fire” analogy, and experiencing a cruel abusive relationship is that the flame of the fire is easy to see, and lets you know you are being hurt if you get too close. Abusive relationships work in an opposite order.” – District Attorney John Haroldson, Benton County, Oregon
District Attorney Haroldson also shared this profound insight: that while I escaped long term violence in my home, I was shot with a poison arrow in my back – the abrupt and permanent removal of my children as well as ongoing court trauma. He said, “Coral, you have left a legacy. Your published book, BONSHEA, is available to anyone you wishes to know the truth. Choose life!”
I will never go away, I will not remain silent, I will give voice to the violence. I will continue to share my truths in a legal and non-violent manner. Non-violence does not threaten. Non-violence leans until something, some day, moves. "Non-violence is a way of life for courageous people. Non-violence seeks to defeat injustices, not people. Non-violence always chooses love instead of hate. Non-violence holds that the universe is on the side of justice and that right will prevail. The goal of non-violence is reconciliation and the beginning of healing."–Mary Manin Morrissey
I am not an EGG DONOR FOR THE CHURCH AND STATE. I believe individuals who support the removal of babies and children from good, nurturing mothers should be held accountable, legally and spiritually.
Radio Program: Listen to Coral Theill's guest appearance on the "Majority United" Radio Program, Feb. 13, 2012: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/
[Soft Break] May-10-2010: SILENT VIGIL AT WHITE HOUSE: Mothers of Lost Children - Coral Anika Theill Salem-News.com
Jan. 11, 2012: Attorney General Kamala D. Harris Calls on Congress to Reauthorize Violence Against Women Act http://www.salem-news.com/
Coral Theill’s Military Articles at Salem-News.com: link
Coral Anika Theill, reporter and advocate, is author of "BONSHEA: Making Light of the Dark." Her published works address abuse, trauma recovery and healing from post-traumatic stress and most recently, wounded Marines, the Warrior Games and Montford Point Marines. Her writings have encouraged and inspired numerous trauma victims and wounded Marines/soldiers recovering from PTS and TBI. Coral's positive insights as a survivor have also earned the respect of clinical therapists, advocates, attorneys, professors and authors. BONSHEA has been used as a college text for nursing students at Linfield College, Portland, Oregon and can be ordered at: http://amazon.com, http://barnesandnoble.com or http:// iUniverse.com
"Those who serve may already know the toll of having to kill or be killed, but civilian society should also recognize that those who go into battle defending our way of life pay a price. I feel a deep gratitude to our servicemen and women and believe our society needs to do more to respect, understand and support those returning from deployment in conflict zones.” – Coral Anika Theill, Contributing Writer for Leatherneck Magazine
The Commandant of the Marine Corps on Post-Traumatic Stress and Traumatic Brain Injury and Invisible Battle Scars: Confronting the Stigma of PTS and TBI http://www.
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