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May-10-2010 07:55printcomments

SILENT VIGIL AT WHITE HOUSE: Mothers of Lost Children

"Historical responsibility is defined as an individual’s answerability for committing or failing to commit acts that would have affected the outcome of any given situation.” - Lucy Dawidowicz

The Rosenstrae today
The Rosenstraße today: the building in which the detainees were held no longer exists. A rose colored Litfaß column commemorates the event. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rosenstrasse_protest

(WASHINGTON D.C.) - Nurturing and loving mothers losing permanent custody of their children is such depressing subject matter. But we cannot indefinitely avoid depressing subject matter, particularly if it is true.

Most individuals prefer not to hear the story of how a cultured people turned a blind eye to consenting to the "legal kidnapping of children through America's family courts" and how the majority of our society, consisting of cultured people, remained silent.

Losing permanent custody and visitation of your children feels like being doused in oil and set on fire. Healing is slow and difficult. The pain never goes away. One doctor describes removing a nursing infant from a mother similiar to castrating a man.

Connie Valentine and other advocates for protective parents call the family courts broken and corrupt and say the system not only puts children into the hands of abusive parents, it also bankrupts and punishes the protective parents who fight for them.

Advocates realize that it is difficult to reform the system because the people it hurts are hiding from abusers and anxious to avoid publicity. (1)

Many of us live under address confidentiality programs for our safety due to escaping physical and sexual violence in our marriages.

In 1994, Mothers of Lost Children http://mothers-of-lost-children.com was formed by a group of Davis, California women, whose children had been abused. Their children's lives were devastated, not only by the abusers, but by the very governmental and private agencies designed to protect them. Similiar to my own experiences and others ncadv.org/files/Bonshea.php, these women looked in vain for help, and found only betrayal.

Although from different faith practices, they began to meet each week in the park in silent protest to pray for their children. As "mothers of lost children," they believe there is a precedent for success in protecting captives through spiritual and ethical means.

Mothers of Lost Children found a role model in the actions of a small group of German women who, in 1943, began a vigil that grew to a group one thousand strong, to protest the imprisonment of their Jewish husbands. They called themselves "The Rose Street Women," offbeattravel.com/rosenstrasse-monument-berlin-germany.html and stood defiant, refusing Nazi orders to leave the site where their husbands were held.

The SS troops waited six days before giving in to the Rose Street Women and releasing twenty-five men, already tattooed and bound for Auschwitz. The February 27, 1993 Sacramento Bee article noted, "It's still unclear why the Nazis buckled to the Rose Street Women."

Mothers of Lost Children relate to the persistence of "The Rose Street Women."

Mothers of Lost Children are inspired by all individuals who "give voice to the violence" throughout the world.

"Peace is Loud", Pray the Devil Back to Hell

We understand Alice Walker's wise words, "Resistance is the secret of joy, we should challenge whatever oppresses us, anything we love can be saved, the way forward is with a broken heart, we should lead and not project on others what they should do for us, and we are the ones we have been waiting for." See the film, "Peace is Loud", Pray the Devil Back to Hell.

In my own research and studies, I found a profound quote on responsibility and accountability in Lucy Dawidowicz’s book, “War Against the Jews.” Her words accurately portray how I feel. I believe that many of the injustices of innocent people in this country are a result of specific individuals, especially those in power, ignoring their own responsibility in given situations.

Dawidowicz writes: “Responsibility means accountability or answerability for one’s actions and their consequences. Historical responsibility is defined as an individual’s answerability for committing or failing to commit acts that would have affected the outcome of any given situation.”

When my children are adults and ask me what I did to help them, I will tell them, “I spoke the truth.” When they ask me why my case remained unchallenged, I hope I don’t have to tell them, “Nobody cared.”

No matter what the court had decided, I put the beautiful memories I had of my children in a sacred place. Each one of my children had shown me a new and beautiful universe through his/her eyes. As a mother, each day was a journey of new experiences and new joys. I am still in awe in the gift of motherhood and am grateful for the days, months, and years I shared with each one of my children.

I will continue to share my truths in a legal and "non violent" manner. Non-violence does not threaten. Non-violence "leans" until something, someday "moves."

I believe in seeking to defeat injustice, not people.

I believe that the Universe is on the side of "justice" and that right will prevail.

"Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented. Sometimes we must interfere. When human lives are endangered, when human dignity is in jeopardy, national borders and sensitivities become irrelevant. Wherever men or women are persecuted because of their race, religion, or political views, that place must–at that moment–become the center of the universe." - Holocaust survivor, Elie Wiesel

In my quiet times, I still feel moments of raw pain from my past. I look at it for what it is, a catalyst for me to find the sacredness of my inner being–to realize more of myself and who I truly am. I believe how we think and act and how beautifully our spirit responds to our challenges is all that matters. I believe "The Gift of Healing is Our Birthright."

In Closing: A Dedication to all "Mothers of Lost Children" (2)

I received this letter of encouragement last month from one of my readers.

Kathleen Sullivan, a clinical therapist in Chattanooga, Tennessee, wrote, "Even if your children choose not to have further contact with you (that is always our greatest fear as estranged parents); it doesn't mean that our children won't know -unconsciously at the minimum - that they are cherished and loved by someone outside their lives with the perpetrators. They may not be able to remember that we were the source of that love, but they will still have a strong sense that it's out there. They may equate the big, powerful outside with a god or goddess; that's okay. It still works to help them to feel truly loved, and protected, and cared about - in the most secret compartment of their soul, where it is not touched by any invader.

"Even if our children are too young to remember when they're removed from us, or if they have been brainwashed by their new caregivers to think of us as other than who we really are - and criminal sociopaths are usually quite good at that - our children's earliest sensory memories of our love and nurturing will remain a mental/emotional protective factor for the rest of their lives.

"I've learned enough about childhood neurobiological development and secure attachment to understand why it happens that way. Our conscious memories of our parents' love - if we experienced such love - may fade away completely or be suppressed out of necessity to conform with our new family system and keep them from turning on us in anger. Still, the neurobiological/sensory imprint of our parents' love is like a fossil imprinted deeply in a dense rock. The nonverbal neurological/sensory imprint remains for life and is a part of everything we are and do; even if we're completely aware of its influence.

"Nobody can erase the imprint without killing us because the imprint of love is strong, more natural, and more resilient than the effects of human evil. And so, even if you are not able to connect with your children now; you've already given them their most important protective factor: "early-onset" love and nurturing." - Kathleen A. Sullivan, MSW

I hope by sharing my story, the consciousness and awareness of society will be raised and the quality of life will improve in America. As a mother, I long for a safe and healthy society for my children to grow up in.

I continue to envision a society that resonates compassion, unconditional love, peace and non-judgment to one another. I continue to believe in imminent possibilities, miracles, surprises and ONE FINE DAY!

(2) and to the nurturing and loving fathers and grandparents who have also loss their children and grandchildren through America's Family Court System.

Suggested reading:

(1) Domestic Violence, Abuse, and Child Custody: Legal Strategies and Policy Issues by Dr. Maureen Hannah and Barry Goldstein, J.D, published by Civic Research Institute, Inc., Kingston, New Jersey, Copyright 2010,

ISBN 1-887554-76-9

civicresearchinstitute.com/dvac.html

domesticviolenceabuseandchildcustody.com/#

Names like Judge Albin Norblad and Judge Paula Brownhill were mentioned many
times, as frequent contributors to Oregon's family and court related issues

“For years custody courts have confidently denied complaints by mothers of unfair treatment in domestic violence cases. If the court system had commissioned research to determine how the present practices are working, the result would be the information contained in Domestic Violence, Abuse and Child Custody. The research findings demonstrate court practices are outdated and their confidence misplaced. Wise judges will use the up-to-date research now available to take a fresh look at practices and assumptions deeply ingrained after thirty years. No one wants to be known as the judge who hurts children and this research can prevent the kinds of tragic outcomes we see too frequently.” - Judge Sol Gothard, JD, MSW, ACSW, Fifth Circuit Court of Appeal, State of Louisiana (ret.)

Woman, Church and State: A Historical Account of the Status of Woman Through the Christian Ages with Reminiscences of the Matriarchate by Matilda Joslyn Gage, 1893, reprinted by Arno Press Inc, 1972

"The scope, breadth, depth, and powerful, no-holdsbarred writing style make Woman, Church, and State my favorite book of all that I have reviewed. It has taken academia, and only the most radical, feminist pockets of academia at that, 100 years to catch up with her. If this work was published today, it would be considered radical. As I read this work, I laughed, I cried, and I grew angry. You cannot walk away from this work without having strong emotions - whether positive or negative, for good or bad, is for you to say. Many of the ideas that it contains are I at first considered too radical. But, often, after some reflection, I had to admit that she spoke the truth.

I urge everyone to read Gage's Woman, Church, and State in its entirety. pinn.net/~sunshine/gage/mjg.html

Peaceful silent vigil at the White House in Washington DC bit.ly/92RIVB

National Coalition Against Domestic Violence October 2009 Newsletter- Coral's Life story ncadv.org/files/Bonshea.php

Related:

May-08-2010: A Mother Does Not Forget Her Children: First March on Washington for Mothers of Lost Children - Coral Anika Theill Salem-News.com

NEWS ARTICLES from Salem-News.com on Coral Anika Theill's life and published book, BONSHEA.

May 12, 2007 Abuse Under the Watch of Oregon's Justice System - Tim King Salem-News.com

Nov. 28, 2007 Marital Rape and Abuse Victim Seeks Justice from Oregon Governor

Nov. 29, 2007 Welcome to Oregon: Land of Domestic Abuse Endorsement

May 30, 2008 What Abuse Survivors Expect from the Portland Crime Victims Conference

May 10, 2009 Oregon Should Consider Coral Theill on Mother's Day

Feb. 26, 2010 "The Gift of Healing is Our Birthright - What an Advocate Looks Like" - Coral Anika Theill Special to Salem-News.com


Coral Anika Theill, advocate and survivor is author of "BONSHEA: Making Light of the Dark." Her book and articles have encouraged and inspired numerous trauma victims and wounded Marines/soldiers recovering from PTSD. Coral's positive insights as a survivor have also earned the respect of clinical therapists, advocates, attorneys, professors and authors. Coral Theill believes a great deal of information exists for survivors. See: 'The Gift of Healing is Our Birthright - What an Advocate Looks Like' - Coral Anika Theill for Salem-News.com.

Coral Anika Theill’s published book, BONSHEA, has been used as a college text for nursing students at Linfield College. BONSHEA: Making Light of the Dark by Coral Anika Theill can be ordered at: iuniverse.com, barnesandnoble.com or amazon.com. Read 12 five star reviews at: barnesandnoble.com Email Coral Theill at: coraltheill@hotmail.com



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Coral Anika Theill May 17, 2010 6:35 pm (Pacific time)

What has happened to me and thousands of women could happen to you.  "We are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny.  Whatever affects one directly affects all indirectly."  - Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.


Coral Anika Theill May 13, 2010 6:19 am (Pacific time)

A U.S. Marine, on the front lines in Iraq, wrote this comment in response to Tim King’s article on my life story on Mother's Day, May 2007: My friend was serving on the front lines in Iraq at the time. He had read my book and was shocked and grieved by my story of horror in America's Family Court system. Here is the comment he posted. We receive so many comments from people back in the states 'Thanking us for their freedom.' Well, the thought of some of those people being the ones who put Ms. Coral through what she has been through makes me ask the question; "What the hell are we over here fighting for, so the American Man will have the freedom to do what? Abuse, rape, torture not only strangers but their own wives!" And we fight so certain public figures will have the right to protect them. One lady compared the treatment of American women to those of other countries and I can tell you as bad as Iraq and Afghanistan is towards their women (and I have seen them both first hand) I have never heard of a story as bad as this one and because of that it's even sadder. We, as a society have the technology to put 'Men on the Moon,' but we, as a society can't fix the problem of 'lack of support' for victims of domestic abuse. I will go on patrol tomorrow here in Iraq and risk my life and the lives of my fellow Marines so Mr. Warner and all those supporting him can continue to do what they do! 'Only in America.” Ms. Coral, keep your head up 'Change is going to come,” 'SEMPER FI'


Rieve Rockwell May 11, 2010 4:34 am (Pacific time)

That a Judge (Judge Albin Norblad) would sign a court order REMOVING EIGHT CHILDREN, INCLUDING A NURSING INFANT, FROM THEIR MOTHER, for any reason other than child abuse, is shameful, shameful, shameful and every mother in this country should pay attention to such an unbelievable action. I have my doubts as to whether any male person, judge or not, should have the right to make such a profound decision, and Mr. Judge Norblad more than boldly demonstrates why. Can Judge Norblad please explain to the public exactly what crime was committed by Coral Theill that would justify such a "cruel and unusual" lifetime sentence for this mother.... AND HER EIGHT CHILDREN??? Yes, there was abuse in this case, that's for certain. The abuse however was committed by Mr. Warner, the righteous "Christian" husband/father, and by Mr. Albin Norblad the "wise" and powerful judge. If ever there was a miscarriage of justice, this is it. My personal history includes being a Pediatric nurse for 40 years, a foster care parent, as well as the parent of 4. I know Coral Theill personally and can guarantee she did not deserve such a dispicably inappropriate sentence - nor did her children - and that is exactly what this judge did. MOTHERS BEWARE: STAY AWAY FROM THE STATE OF OREGON, where such atrocities are being committed; how easy it is to imagine this judge presiding at the Salem witch hunts! What Mr. Warner did, and what Mr. Judge Albin Norblad justified, is horrifying; I believe that Mr. Warner and Judge Norblad have long since LOST THEIR WAY as human beings.


Coral Anika Theill May 11, 2010 1:11 am (Pacific time)

To Wally and Erna, thank you for taking the time to leave a comment. I appreciate your suggestions. If you wish, read the links below each of my articles this week, (Sunday and Monday), as they will give you more history on my "legal ordeal" these past 14 years. I have had no attorney since 1997 (13 years ago) due to poverty. No attorney will talk to me because I have no monies for a retainer fee. The Judicial Commission found nothing wrong with how Judge Norblad handled my case and they said nothing was wrong with him taking my nursing baby from me. I filed complaints with the Oregon State Bar due to the abuse I suffered in the courts. Their letter is in my book, BONSHEA. They found nothing wrong with the abuse I endured in court. Dr. Barbara May and I filed complaints with the Oregon State Administrator last year against Judge Paula Brownhill. She is "chair" of the Oregon State Family Law Advisory Board. The Oregon Court Administrator and the State Family Advisory board found nothing wrong with Judge Brownhill's handling of my case. Judge Brownhill emailed me, when she found out Dr. Barbara May and I had filed complaints...asking me "what was my problem" or something along that line. I found it very inappropriate for a Judge of my case to be personally emailing me. (I still have her email if anyone is interested in seeing it.) I have written hundreds of letters through the years, to no avail. I still believe in miracles, surprises, imminent possibilities and ONE FINE DAY!


Erna May 10, 2010 9:00 pm (Pacific time)

Coral, you are able to express yourself, write well, what I do not understand is, why you did not fight the corrupt judiciary.Someone, somewhere may have heard your plea, and taken action. I am aware of the helplesness frustration, yes and fear,which can overshadow ones existence, but I find, that the endurance of my Prussian heritage will eventually prevail. To each his own, for me the fight lingers on, and I do not care how many in the judiciary get tired of hearing my name. because I find every loophole they try to circumvent....


Barbara Mathews May 10, 2010 6:46 pm (Pacific time)

One of the most draconian decisions a judge or family court can make is to deprive a child of a parent's love and care. Removing a child from its mother is not simply a private matter. It is a decision that demands the very highest standards of accountability and transparency.


Wally Carsoni May 10, 2010 6:39 pm (Pacific time)

Al Norblad is a detestable indivdual who got picked up for drunk driving (finally!) a while back. The local paper in his area reported that he said drinking was part of the culture he was involved in. Maybe Coral should re-focus her energy with the Judical Fitness Commission, and for what it's worth, if your lawyer regularly practices in the Marion/Polk County area, I would suggest getting an attorney outside of that area. You should have known Norblad's father, I believe genetics is at play here. Sorry for what happened to you Coral. I've had an intense dislike for Norblad going back to the 60's and was absolutely sick when he received a judical appointment from the governor nearly 40 years ago. It is rare indeed for judges to lose an election, even a pos like this drunk driver. He is a lowlife draft dodging, deferrment-warrior wimp, but actually a cut above his old man, but not by much.


Claudine Dombrowski May 10, 2010 3:23 pm (Pacific time)

awesome! awesome! awesome!


Coral Anika Theill May 10, 2010 2:39 pm (Pacific time)

Thanks, Earl, for your insightful comment. I have lived under a state address confidentiality program for the last 11 years, due to physical and sexual violence and criminal acts I suffered from my ex husband. I have the documentation, which was needed to be under these protection programs. My older son, Aaron, at 14, fled our home in 1995, as he had been severely assaulted by my ex husband for years. I was proud of my son for leaving. He was the one who got away physically and emotionally. I was never safe going to visit my children in the two years I attempted child visitation. I was assaulted once by Mr. Warner after a visitation. After this incident, I asked friends to pick up and drop off the children. It was difficult to find someone to do this as none of my friends wanted any contact with Mr. Warner. I have no respect for the Family Court System or the Christians and Pastors and elders who have supported my ex husband, Mr. Warner, all these years.


Earl Richards May 10, 2010 11:16 am (Pacific time)

"Judge" Albin Norblad granted custody of Coral's eight children to a wife-beater and a rapist. This should be against the law. If a family court judge grants custody of children to a wife-beater, then the judge should be charged with child endangerment. If the wife-beater is a danger to his (ex)wife, then he is a danger to her children. One does not need a law degree to know this. The Child Protectives Services(CPS) should be forced by law to check on these children, whose custody was granted to a rapist and a wife-beater, and to make a public report. The CPS's are powerful, secret societies. If judicial immunity is not ended, then the family court judges will keep-on breaking the law. Wife-beating cases belong under the jurisdiction of a criminal court, like rape cases, and not the farce and fraud of a family court. The family courts should be open to the public, because the public taxpayers are supporting these courts, so the public and the public's elected representatives should have the right to know what's going in these secret courts, and to check on the dispursing of public funds. The family courts should be open to the press/media and to court watchdog organizations, to weed-out corrupt and incompetent judges, in the public interest and in the children's interest. Some family courts are powerful, secret societies.

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