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May-30-2008 11:21printcomments

Survivors

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Dweezil October 24, 2011 5:53 am (Pacific time)

You keep it up now, undersatnd? Really good to know.


Shekanahh January 18, 2009 11:22 pm (Pacific time)

The thing is to not be a "pseudo Christian" such as Mr. Wolf in sheep's clothing Warner. Jesus Christ still answers the prayers of those who turn to Him.....that is, those who haven't been "burned out" because of the fakes like Warner and his ilk. Strange name......Warn Her, (warner). Let all women be "warned" to choose their mates wisely. Take it from one who's been to hell and back.


April M. September 21, 2008 10:11 pm (Pacific time)

It is really disturbing to see the way the system fails to protect people in need of assistance. On many occasions, law enforcement officials do not take many situations that involve acts such as abuse, stalking, and harassment seriously. I think law enforcement officials need to be required to attend seminars in which victims tell about the pain and trauma they have endured as a result of the criminal acts of others. There are long-term effects that can not be seen from the outside that interfere with the physical, emotional, and social well-being of the victim.


Dawn July 13, 2008 10:35 am (Pacific time)

This little blurp is one of those that kept me going during my divorce. I found it in the local newspaper and kept it and every time I heard someone talk about two sides, I dug it out. "Our determination to pursue truth by setting up a fight between two sides leads us to assume that every issue has two sides--no more, no less. But if you always assume there must be an 'other side,' you may end up scouring the margins of science or the the fringes of lunacy to find it." This then, explains, in part, the bizarre phenomenon of Holocaust denial, among other denials, and that river flows through lots of courtrooms."


Anonymous July 13, 2008 10:35 am (Pacific time)

This little blurp is one of those that kept me going during my divorce. I found it in the local newspaper and kept it and every time I heard someone talk about two sides, I dug it out. "Our determination to pursue truth by setting up a fight between two sides leads us to assume that every issue has two sides--no more, no less. But if you always assume there must be an 'other side,' you may end up scouring the margins of science or the the fringes of lunacy to find it." This then, explains, in part, the bizarre phenomenon of Holocaust denial, among other denials, and that river flows through lots of courtrooms."


Coral Anika Theill July 4, 2008 6:33 am (Pacific time)

July 4, 2008 "Liberty is the only thing you cannot have unless you are willing to give it to others." ---William Allen White


Coral Anika Theill July 4, 2008 6:31 am (Pacific time)

July 4, 2008 The fear of reprisals and repercussions from husbands, the religious community, and the judicial system prevents many women from seeking safety and wholeness. They are experienced with the ways abuse and trauma operates in their home. To seek safety would often mean subjecting themselves to further abuse in our judicial system as well. The choice to stay in domestic violence is often not a choice at all. It is just the lesser of two evils. The woman weighs what kind of abuse she is most familiar with and can possibly survive. Fear of the unknown is often a crushing deterrent. Many woman who have read my book and true life story of the horrors, abuse and cruelty I have endured and survived within America's judicial system, have chosen to remain in abusive and violent relationships. They do not have the physical nor emotional stamina to endure the abuse they will encounter within the "system." Nor could they survive the horrors of losing their babies and children. It has been 13 years since my escape from my abusive ex husband, but I continue to be "legally stalked by him." I pray and long for emancipation, but the courts (judges) continue to support my ex husband and his abuse of me. I have concluded the judges and my ex husband operate from the same mentality: exploitation, power and control. It appears from their records that many judges have no regard for the safety and well-being of women and children.


Jess Phillips, Jr June 21, 2008 12:32 pm (Pacific time)

Much has been said and written about Coral and her divorce from Marty Warner over the past dozen years. The article by Tim King above is just another in a long list of revealing articles about this tragic divorce case. Marty Warner's ex-wife -- Coral -- is often portrayed as the victim in this case... and rightly so! But the big loser here is her eight children. Everyone who had the opportunity to see Coral when she was with her children will agree: She was an excellent Mother who loved and cared deeply for her children. I have know Coral for decades now and it is the loss of her children that has hurt her more than anything. And what these articles and Coral's book, Bonshea, have revealed is the reason why Marty Warner would go so far as to prevent Coral from even writing her children, let alone visit them: Marty Warner was afraid that his children would find out the real reason for his divorce. He was afraid his children would find out that their Mother, at the hands of their father, was beaten, raped and driven to the brink of insanity. I may never get the opportunity to meet Coral's children in person, but I think they should know that their Mother deeply regrets not being able to see or even contact them over the years. And the reason why why she has been unable to see, write or visit them is because their father was afraid the truth about what he did coming out. Well, the truth is now out. And I would hope and pray that as these children turn adults they will seek out their Mother and perhaps offer an apology for their father's actions. Jess Phillips, Jr.


Shirley Peterson June 20, 2008 4:16 am (Pacific time)

Since my family has known Coral for 30 years, I want to add some of our personal observations over these years. We were often in and out of each others homes and I was at the birth of Hannah Rose. I loved watching Coral with her children. I always looked forward to visits at their home. She was patient and loving with her children and their home was one of the most inviting homes I have been in. She home schooled her children and I was always amazed that she was able to choose appropriate lessons for each child. Their home always seemed joyous and fun. She played the piano, taught the kids songs and truly delighted in each and all of her children. We lost touch with their family for a few years and found out that there had been a divorce and Coral no longer had custody of her children. We didn't think this could even be remotely possible. We knew she had become overly tired and mentally exhausted but we also heard she had recovered and was doing well. I got a copy of her manuscript to her book and was saddened to read that her life had not been the picture perfect family that it appeared to be. About five years ago we got back in contact with Coral. She had no place to stay and only her car to sleep in. She lived with us for a year and a half. I have watched her wake up with night terrors over the loss of her children. I have watched her cry when certain songs came on because it triggered memories. I have seen her dazed that this could have ever happened. I have watched her on the birthdays of her children that she no longer sees. I have seen the children's graduations and weddings happen without their Mom. I know that the loss of her children is something she will never recover from. I read an article in the Corvallis Gazette Times many weeks ago that described how Moms who are prisoners are allowed to keep their babies with them for eighteen months and yet I remember that Coral was forced to have her nursing baby 'given' to Marty. I can hardly fathom that this ever could have, or did happen. I often wonder if her children remember her loving and gentle ways with them. Do they remember the nights that she stayed up with them while ALL of them had the chicken pox. Do they remember the warmth that she gave to their home? Perhaps they have been angry with her for 'abandoning' them!! I hope that her children and any family members who doubt her story takes the time to look at court records which are open to the public. I have wondered if her children and extended family know that she has been taken to court year after year by her former husband? We watched two of these court appearances happen while she was living with us. She would literally collapse afterwards. Do her children know that their Dad continues to harass her time after time through the court system? Thank you, Tim, for writing about Coral's situation. I am saddened to know that Coral's children have continued their lives without their Mom and probably don't know the facts or details that contributed to their family breakup. As parents, most of us can only imagine the horror of the loss of a child or our children. Coral has had to experience what any of us would fear most. I only hope that at some time there will be healing and understanding between her and her children. - Shirley Peterson


Coral Anika Theill June 19, 2008 8:15 am (Pacific time)

This was a letter one of my physicians wrote in April 2002, in response to a conversation we had concerning the children's letters to me requesting that I visit them. The physician had been involved in this case since 1993 and had met Mr. Warner and was very familiar with the abuse the children and I had suffered during the 20 years of my marriage to Mr. Marty Warner. My court appointed visitations were difficult, to put it lightly. Many times, my ex husband would not let the children see me on court appointed visitations. One time I was sexually assaulted by my ex husband after a visitation drop off, while meeting with him to speak about mediation for the divorce. Neighbors helped for a while, for my safety, and picked up and dropped off the children for me. Visitation became another tool for Mr. Warner to control, harm and abuse me further. The children harbor feelings of bitterness and hate toward me. They do not wish to or cannot see the obstacles that were created by their father, in having a relationship with their mother. Doctors and professionals, involved in this case history for years, including Judge Norblad, have expressed that the children's feelings of anger are greatly 'misplaced.' Except from BONSHEA: Dear Coral, I know how much you long to give those children a life-line from this P.O.W. camp. But, as you know, you're not in a position to rescue them. So, I think that not only you, but those children, are at risk of a great deal of pain. Marty will find way to punish them, confuse them, confound them for every bit of positive emotion they may have toward you. I think the metaphor you have to use is that they are chained in prison, that you can't unlock the chains, and that it's not a matter of your visiting, you've having to tear them partially from the chains. They will be left, still in chains, but broken and bleeding by the time Marty is done with them. I really am aware of how much you want to do the right thing for them. I think it's better for them to have a concept of you as a distant, possibly despised woman who shows little signs of reaching out to them, e.g., by any letters you get through, etc., than someone they have real contact with. Again, I will stress: it's not as though their jailer-father was a reasonable person. It's a tragic situation that is not fair to either you or the children. Alas, that's the way it's been for these many years and will so remain. Treasure Aaron. He understands.


Coral Anika Theill June 19, 2008 7:46 am (Pacific time)

I highly recommend reading the following article, "50 Obstacles to Leaving, a.k.a., Why Abuse Victims Stay" Why do women stay with their batterers? "This question has been fueled by those who believe that remaining with a batterer indicates stupidity, masochism, or co dependence. Far from being accurate, such labels prove dangerous to victims because they tend to absolve batterers of responsibility for their crimes. "Domestic violence represents serious violent crime: this is not co dependence, for there is nothing the victim can do to stop the violence, nor is there anything she does to deserve the abuse. Domestic violence victims stay for many valid reasons that must be understood by lawyers, judges and the legal community if they are to stem the tide of homicides, assaults and other abusive behavior. "The following represents a much-abbreviated, alphabetical list of some reasons I have either witnessed among the thousands of victims with whom I have had the honor of working over the past twenty-two years----or that reflect my own experience. "That abuse victims make many courageous efforts to flee the violence is too often overlooked in the process of judging them for now being with the batterer." ---Sarah M. Buel, Clinical Professor of the University of Texas School of Law, Former Domestic Violence, Child Abuse and Juvenile Prosecutor "50 Obstacles to Leaving, a.k.a., Why Abuse Victims Stay" by Sarah M. Buel http://www.vcpionline.org/pdfs/50%20Reasons%20Why%20Victims%20Stay.pdf


Christine Pahl, MS, LPC June 17, 2008 9:23 pm (Pacific time)

Coral, You have been courageous beyond imagination. I think about the comment you quoted that Dr. Barbara May had made to you about "What if this is all there is, Coral, what are you going to do?" I'd thought that very thing many times and after the last time I talked to you on the phone, I realized for the first time that "this was all there is for you." This battle for justice wasn't what was keeping you from "healing" or "getting on with your life" as trauma survivors are so often told to do--it was your life, and to give it up would mean giving up life itself. I realized for the first time, that day, that you could not give up your fight and you would not give up as long as there was a breath left in you. The culmination and proof of my understanding of Coral Theill's fight for life was when I saw your pictures with the babies. I realized when I saw those pictures of you and the children and the baby, I felt my own twinge of internal pain at the very thought of what you had experienced emotionally losing your children, that the pain of such an experience would be so unbearable one could only fight back to stay alive. You really are amazing and resilient and determined and inspirational and worthy of enormous recognition for your efforts, and some semblance of justice in the midst of a world of insanity, cruelty and violence and paradoxically a world of love, compassion and understanding. Let's hope that you finally get the love, compassion, understanding and support that is long overdue. Hats off to you Coral and know that you are an inspiration to many. -Christine Pahl, MS, LPC


Coral Anika Theill June 17, 2008 7:46 am (Pacific time)

The excerpts below are written by Jack Meier, who had worked with Mr. Marty Warner, my ex husband, at CH2M Hill in Corvallis, Oregon. He wrote this letter in the Spring of 1996, at the time of my divorce and the loss of custody of my eight children, including my nursing infant. The entirety of his three page letter to Mr. Warner can be read at http://bonshea.com (Click on Letters). It is also published in BONSHEA. "How any man can keep his wife in bondage for some 18-20 years, father eight of her children; expect her to raise them by his rigid, undeviating, pre-planned schedules, home school the oldest five while caring for the youngest three, in addition to her regular household chores; push her to the depth of despair (and almost over the edge)---then cast her aside like a piece of tattered clothing----is beyond my understanding. "To take a nursing baby from his mother's breast, to turn your children against their mother and put them in charge of her, and to withhold common acts of decency from a wife you have controlled for most of her married life are the acts of a hardened heart, and are not Christ-like. Cults are of the devil, Marty. Who is driving your life?" "I don't know where you found those "Christian" lawyers, or how the judge could have ruled as he did. It is neither right nor just. Kathy (Coral) deserives better. She should not be deprived of the three youngest children. They need their mother and her love." "Not only have you destroyed your own life, but that of your family as well. I am appalled by your non-Christian behavior!" Sincerely, Jack Meier


Coral Anika Theill June 17, 2008 7:35 am (Pacific time)

This letter was written by Debbie Dresler, a woman who had worked with Mr. Marty Warner at CH2M Hill and had interactions with our family throughout the years. Her father, Jack Meier, of CH2M Hill, also wrote a personal letter to Mr. Marty Warner in the Spring of 1996, expressing his outrage of Mr. Warner's treatment of me and the children. Both letters are published in BONSHEA and on my website, along with many other letters, affidavits and court documentation. June 2001 Dear Coral, “It is totally unimaginable how that man (Mr. Marty Warner) can destroy his children’s hope and security to try to punish you and maintain the image he holds of himself in their eyes. I hope some day they can get to a place of help and healing. I do believe what you said about your inability to stop him from hurting them. Revenge is such a controlling force in his life. I doubt that he can see the world from anyone’s point of view than his own and would never even wonder if his behavior hurts them. Any outsider can look at that situation and bleed emotionally if not physically. I don’t believe it is in him to even consider that a perspective outside his own driven nature has any validity. There isn’t much hope in that outside of prayer. “I believe that you were an excellent mother and loved your children very much. You always had a special way with children–you were fun, patient, gentle and interested in them as individuals. What a tragedy that they are robbed of that relationship. “If you are in touch with a relative who has any contact with the children, perhaps that person can convey that your door is always open to them when they are of an age to exercise their own options. Aaron did. Perhaps the others will find that path when it is available to them. “I don’t wish many people “peace” because it sounds so trite and “60’s” but I genuinely wish that for you.” Debbie Dresler, Portland, Oregon


Charms June 16, 2008 6:52 pm (Pacific time)

APATHY, THE ABUSE, THE VICTIM And again, we're looking at "apathy". Apathy against the "triage" which seems to be comprised of those who can "gain" from the situation, the abuser, and the victim. We recognize some of those in the triage hold MULTIPLE positions (both gain and abuser), while the victim holds only ONE. For clarity's sake, the THREE POSITIONS are: 1) Those who gain in notoriety within their social position, profession, monetarily, or all. 2) Those who cripple another, negatively impose their will upon another, resulting in emotional, sexual, and financial abuses. Those who steal the life and time of another, via abuse, causing harm. 3) The object which is beaten down to feed the social position, profession, serves to financially benefit another at the loss of themselves. The object which is abused emotionally, sexually, and financially, with a loss of all freedoms. The object left to "fight" for basic human rights taken granted by those who are not the target of those who gain and cripple. The object diminished and even vilified, for reduced status. I believe it's purposeful, with-knowledge apathy. Some of the "apathy" is well-paid, hold highly visible positions within the community. Some of those have no real knowledge of the victim position, others are too busy feeding their ego...and some even have "distanced" themselves from the victim, using that position to heal their own history. 1. Lack of interest or concern, especially regarding matters of general importance or appeal; indifference. 2. Lack of emotion or feeling; impassiveness. People as a GENERAL rule just don't get involved unless out of guilt, gain, or "show" which is also a "gain". There ARE those in the SERVICE fields who actually DO their jobs quietly, behind the scenes, with compassion and understanding. I warrant you'll rarely see them acknowledged, though they ARE the unsung heroes in their tiny spheres of the world. I'll also warrant they are humble and haven't a clue that they're heroes. I can sure name a few in my years of travail! Often I have heard, even from those who consider themselves "advocates" that the "victim" had a choice. I flat do NOT believe that. The "gainers" and the "abusers" of the triage CHOOSE to destroy the "victim". The victim is overpowered. Overpowered is NOT a choice. The victim DID choose to fight against abuse which NEVER should have been tolerated or allowed in our society, THEN blamed for having been rendered helpless, impoverished, depressed, abandoned, and the feelings that go along with those actualities. Somehow the VICTIM who was pushed, and shoved into this predicament, then is expected to heal him/herself, not to whine, not to cry, not to plead, and FOR GOODNESS SAKE, never show any animation or anger at this dissemination of their life. And NEVER question those who have placed themselves in positions which have benefited from their destruction. When a person has been destroyed, with only minimal human life management, can they transcend, like the Phoenix from the Ashes? Maybe a helping hand will be acknowledged and accepted. I've heard the complaints from some who maintain they HAVE tried to help the victims, but that the victim is too focused on how they think things should be, unreceptive, etc., again the fault of the victim. My logic would tell me it's a "communication" and again "ego" and "time" issue. There is just so much time an individual will take with another in controlling that victim when the victim is not in an emotional state to be "re-molded" into what the advocator wishes. It can only be hoped the RIGHT advocate will find and hear that victim and assist. I hear echoes in my head that the VICTIMS are minimized intellectually because they've been forced into a weak state. Primarily these are "mothers" and "children" whose voice is not considered valuable. NO ADVOCATOR can really assist another when they don't have respect for the object of their advocacy. What can the object of abuse do? Be aware of opportunity, however small and grow. What can an advocate do? Be supportive. What can all caring persons do? Just the smallest thing at every opportunity which "seeds" the self-esteem, and hope in healing for the abused. Maybe it's just a smile to a stranger, and it is certainly a "kind" word at every opportunity. -Charms-


Anonymous June 13, 2008 3:26 pm (Pacific time)

"Studies of gender bias in the courts, conducted in the 1980’s and 90’s, found disturbing trends of courts minimizing or excusing men’s violence against women, and favoring the abusers. In 1990 the United States Congress passed a resolution recommending the prohibition of giving joint or sole custody to abusers. Seventeen years later, the practice continues unabated." --Stop Family Violence, http://www.stopfamilyviolence.org/ocean/host.php?folder=133andpage=471andT=.


THIS IS A NATIONAL CRISIS June 13, 2008 12:27 pm (Pacific time)

"On Mother's Day, May 11, 1997, a group of mothers who lost custody of their children gathered on the steps of the U. S. Capitol in Washington, D. C. Entitled 'Give Us Back Our Children,' the event was held to represent the increasing numbers of women who are losing custody of their children to batterers and child abusers. This event, co-sponsored by the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, the Family Violence Prevention Fund, the House of Ruth, My Sister's Place, Rep. Diana DeGette (D-CO), Rep. Connie Morella (R-MD), and Rep. Lucille Roybal-Allard (D-CA), was held to bring attention to the plight of women and children unfairly victimized by the legal system, and to dispel the myth that women always win custody of their children. That was 10 years ago. As the facts of the petitioners’ cases illustrate, the situation today is even worse. The stories of these petitioners are not unique. They are the tip of the proverbial iceberg indicating a grave and growing injury to human rights." --Dianne Post, JD, introduction to the petition she filed on Mother's Day, May 11, 2007, with the Inter-American Commission on Human Rights against the United States on behalf of a representative sample of battered women who have lost custody of their children to batterers.


Coral Anika Theill June 13, 2008 8:13 am (Pacific time)

Throughout these past years of trauma and horror I experienced in Oregon's judicial system, I have found compassion and comfort from many individuals and groups throughout the USA, including, the “Mothers of Lost Children” organization. See http://mothers-of-lost-children.com Mothers of Lost Children was formed in 1994 by a group of Davis, California women, whose children had been abused. Their children's lives were devastated, not only by the abusers, but by the very governmental and private agencies designed to protect them. The women looked in vain for help, and found only betrayal. Although from different faith practices, they began to meet each week in the park in silent protest to pray for their children. There is a precedent for success in protecting captives through spiritual and ethical means. Mothers of Lost Children found a role model in the actions of a small group of German women who, in 1943, began a vigil that grew to a group one thousand strong, to protest the imprisonment of their Jewish husbands. They called themselves "The Rose Street Women," and stood defiant, refusing Nazi orders to leave the site where their husbands were held. The SS troops waited six days before giving in to the Rose Street Women and releasing twenty-five men, already tattooed and bound for Auschwitz. The February 27, 1993 Sacramento Bee article noted, "It's still unclear why the Nazis buckled to the Rose Street Women." I continue to share my truths in a legal and "non violent" manner. Non-violence does not threaten. Non violence "leans" until something, someday "moves." Non violence is a way of life for courageous people. I believe in seeking to defeat injustice, not people. I believe that the Universe is on the side of "justice" and that right will prevail.


Coral Anika Theill June 12, 2008 1:42 pm (Pacific time)

I have learned to value the horrifying scars of my childhood, abusive marriage and Oregon court trauma these past many years as valuable raw material for soul work. Thomas Moore, in his book, Care of the Soul, taught me a beautiful analogy of suffering. I cling to the wisdom of his words. Moore writes, “Care of the soul sees another reality altogether. It appreciates the mystery of human suffering and does not offer the illusion of a problem-free life. It sees every fall into ignorance and confusion as an opportunity to discover that the beast residing at the center of the labyrinth is also an angel. The uniqueness of a person is made up of the insane and the twisted as much as it is of the rational and normal.” “The Greeks told the story of the minotaur, the bull-headed flesh-eating man who lived in the center of the labyrinth. He was a threatening beast, and yet his name was Asterion–Star. We have to care for this (our) suffering with extreme reverence so that, in our fear and anger at the beast, we do not overlook the star.” In my quiet times, I still feel moments of raw pain from my past. I look at it for what it is, a catalyst for me to find the sacredness of my inner being–to realize more of myself and who I truly am. I believe how we think and act and how beautifully our spirit responds to our challenges is all that matters. Holocaust survivor Dr. Viktor Frankl wrote that "the only thing man cannot take from you is your attitude in any given set of circumstances."


A Battered Woman and Child June 12, 2008 12:53 pm (Pacific time)

I believe that the work of domestic violence advocates is one of the most important catalysts for healing for victims. Knowledge is power. And I also believe that it will be one of the most important catalysts for prevention and change. However, until we CHANGE OUR LAWS and PROVIDE BATTERED WOMEN AND CHILDREN WITH FAMILY LAW ATTORNEYS, the human rights violations that they have been and are suffering will continue. The "legal kidnapping" of children by batterers in the United States is a well documented national crisis that has been ongoing for 30 years. The number of studies conducted by United States institutions (Centers for Disease Control, American Psychological Association, American Bar Assocation, etc.) regarding this national crisis is voluminous. Now that we have conducted sufficient studies to define and understand the problem, we need to take the next step. I am a battered mother who, like the majority of battered mothers in the United States, has lost custody of my child to a batterer. I have been searching for help for four years to date to no avail - each resource referring me to another. With all due love, respect and gratefulness, my child and I, like thousands of other battered mothers and children in our position, need an attorney.


Coral Anika Theill June 11, 2008 11:30 am (Pacific time)

"In keeping silent about evil, in burying it so deep within us that no sign of it appears on the surface, we are implanting it, and it will rise up a thousand fold in the future. When we neither punish nor reproach evildoers....we are ripping the foundations of justice from beneath new generations." ---Alexander Solzehnitsyn When my children are adults and ask me what I did to help them, I will tell them, "I spoke the truth and gave voice to the violence."


jt June 11, 2008 11:05 am (Pacific time)

If Coral hasn't already, I might try contacting someone at SASS, which is in Eugene. Their web address is: http://www.sass-lane.org/index.html If the folks there cannot directly assist, they may be able to recommend resources. I feel like your tone of voice with me is argumentative (which may be my misinterpretation), so I will remain anonymous and gracefully bow out of the conversation.


Jess Phillips, Jr June 11, 2008 7:13 am (Pacific time)

To the commenter below: It was/is not my intention to misinterpret your comments. I was simply stating the obvious: Coral Anika Theill, Marty Warner's ex-wife, is the victim of years of rape and assault while she was married to Marty Warner. And anyone who doubts that should read her book. I have known Coral, formerly Kathy Warner, for over thirty years. And the great injustice is the fact that she has been unable to get the help of any of the Oregon based advocate groups. And we're talking about a case that is now in it's 13th year. So I ask the commenter below who is also a survivor, advocate and former Oregon resident: If you were in Coral's position, which Oregon advocate group would you turn to for help? Also, why remain anonymous? Jess Phillis, Jr.


jt June 10, 2008 1:54 pm (Pacific time)

Jess, it appears that you misunderstood my statement. I was not minimizing the apparent poor response of systems providers to this case. Rather, I was merely commenting that there were a number of people present at the conference, from Oregon, who appear to be trying to educate themselves and other on better response. Certainly as a society, we have a long way to go when it comes to response to trauma. I understand that you feel passionately about this case. Please do not misinterpret my comment - I have the utmost hope that advocates in Oregon want to be helpful to the people they respond to, regardless of whether or not that has occurred in the past. As a sidenote, though I currently live out of state and identified myself as such in my earlier post, I am a former Oregon state resident, a survivor myself, and a community based advocate, hence my interest in this article. My opinion is just as valid as yours, regardless of where I reside.


Jess Phillips, Jr. June 9, 2008 2:23 pm (Pacific time)

I take issue with the June 9, 2008, out-of-state commentor below. She claims there are many Oregon community based victim advocates. That may be true, but these groups have been of "no" help to Coral in her struggle over the past twelve years. Coral's case, as highlighted in the article above, is one of the most unjust and unfair that I'm aware of. Read her book: Bonshea. This is a lady who while married in Oregon was beaten, raped and forced to have eight children. And when she finally filed for divorce, she was forced to pay child support and was denied the ability to contact any of her eight children. For the past dozen plus years Coral and many of her friends from around the country have contacted all of these so-called advocacy groups in Oregon, yet none has offered to help Coral. Why? As the out-of-state commentor below pointed out... one of the key topics of discussion of the recent NCVC conference held in Oregon was to collaborate on creating better practice in community response to intimate partner abuse and sexual violence. Well, if the response Coral has received is any indication, these advocates have a long way to go to improve their response to these kinds of injustices. Here is Coral email address: coraltheill@hotmail.com. Her case is now wll known. She needs help. Hopefully one of these advocacy groups will contact her and offer to help. Jess Phillips, Jr.


jt June 9, 2008 10:23 am (Pacific time)

Having attended the NCVC conference as a victim/survivor support advocate and educator from a state other than Oregon, I wanted to comment that there were a number of Oregonian community based victim advocates as well as law enforcement, legal aide representatives, and other systems operators there to collaborate on creating better practice in community response to intimate partner abuse and sexual violence. It is a truly terrible thing when systems perpetuate abuse upon victim/survivors. Please note that there are hundreds of advocates working on behalf of victims throughout the United States. We care.


Anonymous June 8, 2008 8:10 pm (Pacific time)

7. Remove obstacles to prosecutions for domestic violence Investigate why reporting, prosecution and conviction rates for domestic violence are so low, and tackle obstacles and shortcomings identified by these investigations. Court procedures and rules of evidence should be reformed so that they do not discourage women from pursuing complaints. Complainants, witnesses and others at risk during investigations and prosecutions should be protected from intimidation, coercion and reprisals. There should be close co-operation between the police, the prosecution authorities and other authorities and services at the local level. --Amnesty International, http://www.amnestyusa.org/document.php?lang=eandid=ENGACT770122006.


Anonymous June 8, 2008 8:08 pm (Pacific time)

6. Investigate and prosecute complaints of domestic violence Ensure that the police provide a safe and confidential environment for women to report domestic violence, that there is mandatory registration of all complaints of domestic violence, and that all such complaints are promptly, impartially and effectively investigated. When there is sufficient admissible evidence, suspects should be prosecuted in accordance with international standards for fair trial and without recourse to the death penalty or corporal punishment, while ensuring that sentences are commensurate with the gravity of the crime. If a case is dropped, the reasons should be made public. --Amnesty International, http://www.amnestyusa.org/document.php?lang=eandid=ENGACT770122006.


Anonymous June 8, 2008 8:07 pm (Pacific time)

5. Ensure that domestic violence is a criminal offence Ensure that all forms of domestic violence are treated in law and practice as human rights violations and criminal offences, that acts of domestic violence are investigated, prosecuted and punished in accordance with the gravity of the crime, and that victims receive appropriate reparations. No matter where in a country a woman lives, her complaint should be pursued with equal determination and thoroughness. --Amnesty International, http://www.amnestyusa.org/document.php?lang=eandid=ENGACT770122006.


Anonymous June 8, 2008 8:05 pm (Pacific time)

Violence against women in the family -- domestic violence -- is a fundamental violation of human rights. It is a pervasive, daily reality for women living in every country across the globe. Its impact is devastating on women, their lives, their health, their work and the wellbeing of their families. --Amnesty International, http://www.amnestyusa.org/document.php?lang=eandid=ENGACT770122006


Dianne Boutelle June 6, 2008 7:21 pm (Pacific time)

Thank you Tim King for printing Corals story. Reading yet another story of a mother losing custody of her children to her abusive ex-husband makes me angry and depressed. I have read far too many stories over the years from women begging for help from nearly every state from Florida to Alaska including my own sister's quest for justice since 1997 in Chicago. I pray that the right people will hear their stories and make the changes in our domestic court system soon. If not, I fear that the women of this country will end up with the same rights as women in many of the middle eastern countries...NONE!


Abused Child's Aunt June 5, 2008 6:46 am (Pacific time)

After escaping her ex-husband when he started physically abusing her, my niece found out that he had been sexually abusing their daughter, my great-niece, for years, since she was very small. She then instituted legal action, which was about 7 or 8 years ago. To make a long story short, the ex has dragged it out in court for years - he has the money for the lawyers, and my niece had none. The "child" is now 19 - and the abuser has yet to pay any child support or spend any time in jail for his abuse. What's worse is that this is not an isolated case - there are so many. What is the matter with our courts?!


Coral Anika Theill June 4, 2008 5:35 pm (Pacific time)

In my research and studies, I found a profound quote on responsibility and accountability in Lucy Dawidowicz’s book, "War Against the Jews." Her words accurately portray how I feel. I believe that many of the injustices of innocent people in this country are a result of specific individuals, especially those in power, ignoring their own responsibility in given situations. Dawidowicz writes: "Responsibility means accountability or answerability for one’s actions and their consequences. Historical responsibility is defined as an individual’s answerability for committing or failing to commit acts that would have affected the outcome of any given situation." There are individuals mentioned in my story who refused to acknowldge the horrors of my survival of marital rape and abuse and my cry for help. They became an obstacle to my basic human rights---freedom and safety. I am holding them responsible and accountable for the continued trauma I have experienced the past several years. I am requesting that the acts of disrespect, dishonesty and violence against me be acknowledge and resolved. Coral Anika Theill www.bonshea.com


fed up in Oregon June 4, 2008 4:01 pm (Pacific time)

One of the posters here also had her children taken. I know her personally and she is a wonderful mother. I was horrified that any state would take the children from this loving mother and put them in the arms of their father. The man is a criminal and abuser. I tried to help this woman and it broke my heart to see what the legal system did to her and her children. These cases are terrible. She and Coral have so much in common. It is not right to be exposed to abuse at home and then have it sanctioned in the courts and legal system. It is even worse to lose your children to the abuser. Coral is a strong woman and has been an inspiration. I must say that J has been inspirational also in her strength and fortitude.


Kate O'Halloran June 4, 2008 1:03 pm (Pacific time)

I am what is called a"shirttail" relative of Coral's. Marty Warner is my cousin. I have only recently learned the truth about what happened to Coral througout her marraige, and why she disappeared from the family "scene". I read her book and have been in contact via Email with her for several weeks. I believe her. Any family, anywhere, has great difficulty accepting that one of their "own" could be capable of cruelly mistreating another member of the family. It is deeply disturbing to know my cousin has caused so much pain. Who wants to believe the worst about a relative? An Uncle? An Aunt? A Brother? A Father? It is very disturbing to look at the truth. To choose a side. My feelings around Coral's mistreatment by my cousin and by the justice system are very deep. I know by speaking out in her support will put me at odds with people I care very much for. But I can't get certain images out of my mind. I can still see what a loving, gentle, good mother Coral was to ALL of those beautiful children. I remember her smile, her beauty- inside and out-- and her graciousness. I had a great mother, I know one when I see one. Inspite of being separated from her children all these years, Coral still is a good mom. She is trying to leave her story and an example of bravery for her children to know her by. I support her 100%. It is my intention to re-open family awareness to her story and the multitude of injustices she has endured. I want to cry when I think about how much her children have lost. I love my extended family greatly, but like many families, we are proud and don't want to see our weaknesses. It takes guts to examine family flaws. Coral has guts... I'm taking my cue from her. She is amazing and strong. She was an asset to our family. Too bad we let her go... Shameful not one of us stood in her corner when she, and her children needed us most. Kate O'Halloran


J.Martin June 3, 2008 3:35 pm (Pacific time)

This is a Great article!!
Being a Mother of 5 children, losing 4 of them to the man who battered me and the children for 10 years of our marriage. This system is NOT for the victim, it is for the abuser and the corrupt Legal system of OREGON..


Anonymous June 3, 2008 3:45 pm (Pacific time)

"Arbitrary power is most easily established on the ruins of liberty abused to licentiousness." --George Washington "I am a firm believer in the people. If given the truth, they can be depended upon to meet any national crisis. The great point is to bring them the real facts." --Abraham Lincoln "A small body of determined spirits fired by an unquenchable faith in their mission can alter the course of history." --Mohandas Gandhi "Never forget that everything Hitler did in Germany was legal." --Martin Luther King, Jr. "The first question which the priest and the Levite asked was, 'If I stop to help this man, what will happen to me?' But... the good Samaritan reversed the question, 'If I do not stop to help this man, what will happen to him?'" --Martin Luther King, Jr. "The hottest place in Hell is reserved for those who remain neutral in times of great moral conflict." --Martin Luther King, Jr. "Almost always, the creative dedicated minority has made the world better." --Martin Luther King, Jr.


Coral Anika Theill June 3, 2008 3:33 pm (Pacific time)

The article below describes what occurred to me in the Oregon Family Courts as I sought help and safety from my abuser, Mr. Marty Warner in 1995. "When courts blame victims and fail to hold abusers accountable, they reinforce abuser behavior, subvert justice, disempower the victims, teach children that abusive behavior is permissible and may even be rewarded, and reinforce the cycle of violence." "Most batterers know they can bring criminal and contempt charges at no expense to the abusers, but they take an enormous financial and emotional cost on their victims. The result is that many abusive men drag on the litigation and file spurious claims openly acknowledging they are trying to drive their victims onto welfare or into homelessness; half of all homeless women and children in the U.S. are homeless because of domestic violence." ---Joan Zorza, Esq. SEE FULL ARTICLE AT: http://www.stopfamilyviolence.org/ocean/host.php?folder=62andpage=377andT= or http://bonshea.com Batterer Manipulation and Retaliation, Denial and Complicity In the Family Courts by Joan Zorza, Esq Family Courts Excuse Male Misbehavior, But Blame Women


Anonymous June 3, 2008 3:30 pm (Pacific time)

In America, in uncontested child custody cases, family courts routinely reunite parents who have been convicted of such crimes as murder, narcotics use, child sexual abuse and child neglect with their children. However, in contested child custody cases, the majority of battered mothers who simply report domestic violence lose custody of their children (including severely limiting or eliminating their contact with their children) as a result of ignorant judges giving priority to "friendly parent" statutes rather than "rebuttable presumption" statutes which state that it is not in the best interests of children to award joint or sole custody to a batterer.


fed up in Oregon June 3, 2008 3:14 pm (Pacific time)

Wow this was another great article by Mr. King. I sure hope that someday someone will listen and help to change things especially in Oregon. When our family needed help we too contacted every agency in Oregon for protection from a stalker. Instead the tables were turned the stalker testified and we had to pay (and still are) for being harassed, stalked, our lives threatened and our animals killed. DA Fisher did a fine job of protecting the criminal and making sure we "paid" for constantly begging for help. There was no one that would help in any agency we contacted. DA Fisher made absolutely sure the criminal was considered the victim which is against Oregon law but then in Oregon what difference does that make. We did receive help from one local Senator and the Representative for our area however they were not able to do much. It was a horrible situation. We too were constantly told to get a lawyer and fight however with the only bread winner in our family severly injured in a car accident we had no money. Although he was totally disabled even the Oregon DHS would not help. It was the worst example of justice we had ever experienced. The last straw was when the stalker constantly had DHS children services at our home threatening to take our child because "We lived next door to this crazy lunatic that had our son scared to death". Oregon is something else.


A Battered Mother in California June 3, 2008 1:54 pm (Pacific time)

Throughout time, human beings have sacrificed their lives and freedom in order to protect thier children. I submit that ones children are by far more important than ones freedom. However, in America, if ones freedom is at stake, one has the right to an attorney and a jury trial. However, if ones children are at stake, one is not entitled to either.


A Battered Mother in California June 3, 2008 1:33 pm (Pacific time)

"We, the Courageous Kids Network, are a growing group of young people, whose childhood was shattered by biased and inhumane court rulings, which forced us to live with our abusive parent, while restricting or sometimes completely eliminating contact with our loving and protective parent. "Some of us, whose mothers tried to protect us from abuse, did not see our mothers for years, or were only allowed to see our mothers under oppressive supervised visitation orders. We were not allowed to hug our mothers, or talk about how we felt...We lived in fear, depression, hopelessness and helplessness for years. Some of us ran away from our abusers. Some could not handle the trauma and committed suicide. "We who survived, got older and stronger. Now we are telling the world how much we were hurt, first by our abusers and then by the court that refused to protect us... "...We are kids from all over the country who have been beaten, molested, raped, sodomized, mentally battered, isolated, terrorized, and shamed by our controlling, battering parents." --Courageous Kids Network (http://www.stopfamilyviolence.org/ocean/host.php?folder=62andpage=360andkeywords=courageous%20kids%20networkandT=).


Anonymous June 3, 2008 1:14 pm (Pacific time)

"Jessica Lenahan (formerly Gonzales), whose three daughters were kidnapped by her estranged husband and killed, and whose domestic violence protection claims were rejected by the U.S. Supreme Court, will finally get her day in court. In the first decision of its kind, the Inter-American Commission on Human Rights (IACHR) ruled on Friday that it will hear her case. The American Civil Liberties Union and Columbia Law School's Human Rights Clinic represent Lenahan. "The IACHR, an international human rights tribunal based in Washington, D.C., found that countries in the Americas, including the U.S., are responsible under the American Declaration of the Rights and Duties of Man for protecting victims of domestic violence." --American Civil Liberties Union (http://www.aclu.org/womensrights/violence/32124prs20071009.html).


A Battered Mother in California June 3, 2008 12:33 pm (Pacific time)

"Studies show that batterers have been able to convince authorities that the victim is unfit or undeserving of sole custody in approximately 70% of challenged cases." --American Judges Foundation (http://aja.ncsc.dni.us/domviol/page5.html).


A Battered Mother In California June 3, 2008 12:28 pm (Pacific time)

"Fathers who battered the mother are twice as likely to seek sole custody of their children as are non-violent fathers." --American Psychological Association (http://video.aol.com/video-detail/small-justice-little-justice-in-americas-courts/1214991825).


Battered Mother in California June 3, 2008 12:24 pm (Pacific time)

"There is a national crisis for women and their children in the family law courts of this country. Affirmed by experts and leaders in the women’s movement, the existence of this crisis is verified by women in every state who report injustice in their family law cases, especially battered mothers trying to protect their children from abusive fathers who aggressively litigate against them, using family court to stalk, harass, punish, and impoverish their former partners and children." --National Organization for Women Foundation (http://www.nowfoundation.org/issues/family/index.html).


Coral Anika Theill June 3, 2008 10:00 am (Pacific time)

Thank you, Tim King, for your excellent article on the plight of victims in Oregon. Many citizens believe that there is advocacy assistance and legal help for victims of crimes. This belief is false, not only in my case, but for numerous victims I have peronally talked with throughout the years.

For the past 13 years, there has been NO assistance, in my case, from local, state or national advocacy groups. Throughout the years, I have regularly contacted by phone, mail and email, the Oregon Govenor's office, the Governor's Council on Domestic Violence, the Attorney General Hardy Myer's Office and Sexual Assault Task Force, all Oregon Senators and Represenatives, along with hundreds of advocate groups throughout the USA and in Washington D.C.

Their answer is simply, "Go get an attorney (how? without monies), or "Go find help through the proper channels," (there are none), or NO RESPONSE AT ALL.



Tim King's articles accurately expose my experiences these past 13 years in the Oregon Family Courts, law enforcement and District Attorney Offices, and how my "psuedo Christian ex husband, Mr. Marty Warner, and his Christian attorneys, Mr. Daniel Van Eaton and Mr. Mark Lawerence, manipulated the court system to further harm and abuse me, pushing me to further exhaustion, poverty and homelessness.

Some people may believe I am "hiding some of the facts" because they don't believe (or want to believe) that what I, and millions of other good, nurturing mothers, have experienced can happen in AMERICA.

I have 13 years of court documentation from 42 court related hearings and depositions, numerous physician's affidavits, medical reports, numerous neighbors, friends and co workers affidavits, to substantiate and elababorate on this story.

When my OBGyn of 17 years, Dr. Charles South, of Albany, Oregon, discovered that my husband had impregnanted me again, while I was not yet recovered from my physical collapse, mental breakdown and stroke two years before, he used rather strong language and told me to go get the best attorney I could find and divorce the "____." He was angered to see I was still struggling to gain my way back to health, but had been impregnanted again, with no regard for my well being. (There are Rape Laws in Oregon protecting women and crime victims, such as myself, against our perpetrators, even husbands, but District Attorney John Fisher, ignored them.)


I followed Dr. South's advice, and retained an attorney and sought a divorce. A year later I met Dr. Charles South in his office, with my breast pump in hand. My nursing infant had been removed from me along with my young children, even though I had been "well and recovered for over a year from my depression" and all my physicians had recommended to Judge Norblad that my baby and young children remain in my care.


Since many people remain in "denial" regarding the crimes of marital rape and "legal kidnapping" by ex husbands and the court corruption against good mothers in America, these individuals, often have to assume that we are "bad mothers."

Another disturbing fact, is that woman prisoners in America can keep their babies with them in prison for up to 18 months, but, I as a good, nurturing mother of 20 years, could not keep my baby one more day, per a court order by Judge Albin Norblad, while I was seeking safety and a divorce.

In my opinion, America is NOT the safest country in the world for women and children, as many would have you believe and popular talk show hosts have proclaimed for years.


I long for emancipation from my ex husband and Oregon courts. I long for justice, restitution and vindication. Apologies from my ex husband, his pastors and religious supporters, District Attorney John Fisher and Deputy District Attorney Martha Hill, Judge Collins, Judge Albin Norblad, Judge Luukinen, and Judge Paula Brownhill would be welcome and accepted.

The abuse I have suffered from my ex husband, Mr. Marty Warner, his religious supporters and the judicial system in Oregon cut deep wounds in me. Although my wounds have mostly healed, I will always be haunted by the cruely and injustices.

My human rights have been violated over and over again in Oregon Courts. Petitions have been filed in international courts on behalf of mothers for the inhumane crimes and acts committed against us in America's Courts. (See petition at my website: http://bonshea.com


Many children in households and churches throughout American learn "male-supremacy" and "strong over weak" messages from their parents and church leaders. Children are watching, listening and learning by our interactions in the private and professional sectors. Sadly, children are learning the "domination game." Terrorism is often taught without ammunition and bombs by those who abuse power and get what they want --- no matter what the cost.

Respectfully,

Coral Anika Theill
Author, Advocate and Mother of Lost Children
Book website: http://bonshea.com




Jess Phillips June 2, 2008 9:18 am (Pacific time)

First, a big thank you to Tim King, the Salem News Editor, for writing the above article, which is the best article ever written about the case of Marty Warner vs. ex-wife who used the name Coral A. Theill today.

The lack of support Coral has received from the Oregon legal community and, frankly, from the Oregon Women Rights and Women Against Violence groups is the aspect of this case that most find so un-Oregon like. Why some local attorney or one these influential women's' groups have not stepped up to plate to help Coral in this matter is, in my opinion, inexcusable. 

Marty Warner beat and raped his ex-wife and forced her to be the mother of eight children. And after his then wife suffered a mental breakdown, that was at times life threatening, she filed for divorce. Guess what her husband did, with the help of the Oregon legal system? He sued her for child-support and won and then got the court to issue an order which prevents his ex-wife from being in contact with her eight children. So the man who has been accused of rape and assault gets the children and gets the court to order that his ex-wife pay child support, but she is not allowed to contact her children.

Clearly, justice was not not served in this case! What Coral needs and deserves in Oregon is the help of a good attorney. I hope she finds one!


Jess Phillips, Jr. June 2, 2008 8:19 am (Pacific time)

Dear Salem News,

I submitted comments to this article on Sunday morning which still have not been posted. Should I re-submit?

 

Editor to Jess: Yes please Jess and email it in if it does not show up: newsroom@salem-news.com Thanks Jess


Shekanahh June 2, 2008 6:38 am (Pacific time)

I was just thinking the same thing. Mr. Warner is going to reap back what he has sewn, and it's not going to be pretty. He's only "religious", and some "religious" people get self righteous and meaner than junkyard dogs. That would be him. I hope he gets to know and be more like Jesus Christ, who would never advocate the evil kind of treatment Marty Warner is practicing. Satan is Marty's mentor.


Susan May 31, 2008 8:36 pm (Pacific time)

I have read her book "Bonshea and your articles. It is so incredible that no state agency or the governor stepped in to help her!


Bill Anon May 30, 2008 1:35 pm (Pacific time)

After meeting Coral and reading various articles posted on the internet including excerpts from her book Bonshea I am astonished that such flagrant acts of abuse by her husband co-joined by the local Dallas government in ignoring pleas from spousal abused victims can exsist in today's society. Both the Dallas Attorney General and her former Husband Mr.Warner deserve what will happen to them one day. What goes around comes around. Better watch your back boys.

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