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Nov-15-2007 05:35TweetFollow @OregonNews
Things That Make You Go: DUHHHHH!!!Perspective by Kevin Hays Salem-News.com
Some local behaviors beg the question, did your mom drop you on the head when you were born?
(SALEM, Ore.) - Over the past few months, I have been compiling a list of things that people, companies, or organizations in Salem, Oregon, and from around the world, do either in the news, or in life itself that irks the hell out of me. So here we go:
1. People who drive at night without their headlights on!
I was driving to the grocery store Tuesday night on Sunnyside Road in south Salem, and what did my bright blue eyes see, NOT one, NOT, two, BUT THREE idiots driving in the opposite direction without their headlights on. Hello, Kirk to Enterprise, it’s dark earlier now, turn your damn lights on!
Now these people weren’t driving a 1970 Ford Pinto, or AMC Gremlin, so I’m fairly confident that they were not headed to the mechanic to get them fixed. I can just imagine the conversation between the person, the judge, and/or the insurance company after they kill someone in another car, walking or riding their bike, after causing an accident because they didn’t have their lights on.
If you get caught driving without your headlights on at night, and your NOT drunk or high on drugs, you should be required to re-take your drivers test, or have you head and eyes checked BEFORE you get behind the wheel of another vehicle. Things that make you go: DUHHHHH!!
2. How do you post a story on the internet BEFORE the actual time?
This one is really stupid. For over a month now, I have been getting up EARLY in the morning, 3:45 AM because my wife works in Wilsonville. NO I’m not that motivated to get you the latest news at that hour! But like any good reporter does in any newsroom throughout the world, I look at other news Web sites to see what they have compared to what we at Salem-News.com have, or might have missed.
Ah, but the good old Statesman Journal on their site has news updates posted before the time it actually is. For example, they have news and blog updates they say were posted at 5:00 AM, when the time on my clock says it’s 4:00 AM. What is that all about? Are they that desperate for ad money, or viewers that they need to make them think that they are up working at that hour??? And this didn’t just happen once, or twice, this has been going on for MONTHS, and we have the screen shots to prove it.
Hey Bill Church, are the lights in your office causing so much glare that you and your reporters can’t see the time on your computer screens?? What, still using a TRS-80, or Apple II?? Think nobody sees or cares?? Think again, GOTCHA! Tell your computer people to stop screwing around and fix the problem.
Gannett needs to take over that newsroom and clean-out the trash, and that means the upper management people, and not the reporters, who continue to allow this to go on. If my company was a Statesman Journal advertiser and I read this, the first call I would make would be to either Church or Victor Panichkul and ask them what the heck is going on at the paper and online. I'd hear their cracking voices on the other end make an endless amount of excuses and pull my advertising. Better yet, go there in person and see them face-to-face. Bet it would be like seeing a deer looking into the headlights of a car. Makes you wonder just how real, or accurate any of their stories are. Things that make you go: DUHHHHH!!
3. People who read while driving.
It’s bad enough most of us use cell phones while we are behind the wheel. But when I was driving on River Road in Keizer, this woman made me really wonder why the state of Oregon issued her a license.
As we were going along, I noticed this woman, driving a high profile SUV, reading what looked to be a romance novel. I had my wife look again out the passenger window, and sure enough, she had the book placed in her left hand while she steered with the right. What, was she late to a book club meeting? Late returning the book to the public library?
Now I’m sure ladies that those romance novels are very good and very hard to put down, but come on, reading behind the wheel, get a grip! Joe and Sara will still be on the beach, or in bed, or breaking up, or killing each other when you get home! Wonder now if she is married to one of those idiots driving without their lights on. Things that make you go: DHHHHH!!
4. Cell phones and the grocery store.
Now this one really chaps my hide. So I’m in the local grocery store over the weekend, getting stuff to make homemade enchiladas, YES people I cook, and NO my family has not gotten sick from eating it, and this man was talking on his cell phone backing up traffic in the aisle I was on.
Now first, this man was as loud as one of those kids you see spinning on the store floor crying and screaming or throwing their arms around because they didn’t get that box of cereal or candy bar, yelling at the person on the other end because apparently he had forgotten the grocery list at home and wasn’t sure what to buy or what brand.
Second, he's in the middle of the isle, and there were probably three people ahead of my cart who couldn’t get by, because they weren’t sure of his next move, and there were people backed up in the opposite direction looking and shaking their heads at him.
Finally a 6’4, 300 pound man came around the corner, gave the man what I would call a look of, 'if you don’t move now I’m going to plant you there,' and he moved over to one side, so we all could get by him. We waited for the other side to go first so big boy could get by. I wanted to shake his hand and thank him, but he also had the look of I hate to go shopping so get the heck out of my way.
I ran into this idiot two more times, and this has happened to me more than once at the local Wal-Mart. These people are like a bad headache, annoying and a pain in my ass. Now I understand that there are emergencies where a call needs to be placed from the store, like when the wife and teenage daughter sends you to the store to embarrass you because she forgot tampons when she was at the store just an hour earlier. Guys you know what I’m talking about!
Or if you child calls with an emergency, those calls are just fine. They are usually quick and to the point. But being on the phone the whole time you're in the store, or holding people up because you aren’t bright enough to push a cart and talk on the phone, or you haven’t mastered the art of talking in an indoor voice, is ridiculous! Things that make you go: DUHHHHH!
5. The Salem Airport.
Someone please explain to me the rationale behind the Salem City Council and Mayor Janet Taylor voting on Tuesday to apply for a $4.75 million ODOT Connect Oregon II grant to improve and expand the airport’s terminal and runways.
Let’s all be realistic, Delta WILL leave Salem, the only question is when. Flights are WAY over priced for the AVERAGE Salem resident.
Example: Roundtrip flight for two adults on Delta from Salem to Phoenix, Arizona leaving December 20th and returning on December 27th: $1,186.18.
Now let’s compare that to Portland:
Southwest Airlines: $941.40 United: $871.20 Alaska: $840.40
Now parking in Salem is free, but still if you paid for the Alaska flight, drove to PDX and used their new VALET parking service for the seven days you would save $95.78. Use their economy lot and save $297.78. Take the Hut Shuttle and save $205.78, pay a friend or relative to take you to and from the airport for say $100 for gas, save yourself $245.78. This is all information the city and the Chamber of Commerce doesn't want you the public to know or research before you fly because then it's hasta la vista Delta.
Now I’m sure even someone with a 6th grade education can see that flying out of Salem is a RIP-OFF, and won’t last, unless the city keeps buying up seats on the planes and wasting taxpayer dollars. Second, nobody wants to travel to or through Salt Lake City. The Chamber of Commerce survey before Delta even announced they were coming to town found that more citizens and business owners would pay to go to Las Vegas, Seattle, or San Francisco then Salt Lake City, which I believe didn’t even make the top 15.
So the city has spent some $1 million dollars renovating the old terminal, and now wants more money to expand it, money allocated for the runways for safety I understand. As a taxpayer, if the state gives Salem a dime for airport terminal expansion on the assumption that another airline will come, then I want those idiots at ODOT replaced.
And what about the new ads on Comcast that have a motivational speaker trying to tell you to Fly Salem?? If you need that type of advertising, doesn’t that tell you something? Plus the fact she is not that motivated in the ad, acts fake, and looks like she just slammed into the back of an Avon/Mary Kay truck.
Look, Salem has one of the best airports in the state for private and corporate aircraft, but commercial service, NO WAY!! Even Eugene is a better bet. If Salem gets the money and spends it, then Delta pulls out, and we have an empty terminal, the Mayor and City Council along with Salem Airport Administrator Alan Alexander should be forced to wear Delta barf bags over their heads during city council meetings for misleading the public and wasting taxpayer dollars. Don’t we NEED to find grant money for more cops, better city streets, and money to grow the downtown core area?? Things that make you go: DUHHHHH!!
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