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Occupational Forces Round Up Salem Teens, Capital Punishment PossibleTim King Salem-News.com
Officials need your help locating members of the resistance, rewards are offered.
(Salem, Ore) - Two teens from Salem were taken into custody by governmental occupational forces Friday. Accused of conspiring to build a bomb intended to kill soldiers at an outpost near their homes, 17-year old Amy Haan and 18-year old Jason Ludwig, both face the death penalty.
Oregon's governor agreed with an area general's statement, that all teens arrested for this activity are terrorists, plain and simple.
"They know exactly what it is they are setting out to do. Raising arms against the new government is expressly forbidden," Gov. Neal 'Babs' Kulonhaber stated in a news release.
Reports have been surfacing from the camp outside Wilsonville, constructed late last year, that routine executions of U.S. residents suspected to have militant ties are being carried out.
Xe Lau, the commander of provisional forces, says all such reports are a hoax, contributing similar leaked information to a conspiracy-based left wing media that amazingly, has managed to stay online in spite of laws that specifically prohibit non-government censored news reports.
Lau says similar reports that surfaced the same year the U.S. government lost power and was forced to cede large amounts of land to China, due to the crash of the stock market and economy, were also false.
"There was no truth to the creative tales of mass murder. The residents who were removed from their homes were directed to work overseas as part of a governmental order."
Chinese officials say the days of knowing the territories as the USA are numbered. Several renaming committees are working together at this time in Beijing to find a name that accounts for the new direction of the territories under the new adopted Communist system.
Price on Heads of Renegade Marine Detachment
The occupational forces are looking for a few bad men. It is reported that as many as two hundred members of the now disbanded U.S. Marine Corps are operating as a rogue force in the forest areas near Eugene. Their successful downing of an occupational forces military helicopter last month made headlines and now you can help.
Residents who know the whereabouts of any of the 'Marines' are advised to call the the TATTLE TALE line at the Provisional Headquarters, located in the former Attorney General's office. Dial *ALERT4TERROR and remember to leave your official party issued ID number to receive a certificate entitling you and your family to one weekend trip to the Grand Canyon.
Finally, remember that you too can become a proud member of the occupational forces. Americans are allowed to participate in limited ways and those who turn over information involving their own family members have the strongest commitment to the new political ideals.
Reality check: you of course have figured out that this is an April's Fool story, but have you considered what it would be like if it happened? Well it did happen; it happened to the people of Europe during the 1930's, many of whom were Jewish, and it happened a decade later to the Palestinians when the Zionists moved to their land in search of 'the promised land'.
Your family, your friends, your acquaintances, all in peril because your country has suddenly become occupied. It happened more recently in Afghanistan and again in Iraq. It is taking place as we speak, and that is no joke.
Remember to live by the simple directive: Truth Justice Peace which we adapt from our friend Ken O'Keefe in Gaza City; he is one of the world's premier freedom fighters. Israel branded this peace advocate as a 'terrorist' for resisting a deadly attack of Israeli Occupational Forces just less than a year ago, as his unarmed friends were systematically shot and then executed by the Israeli soldiers. Just remember this one principle, Freedom is Not Free. It is bought and paid for with the blood and bodies of people like Ken O'Keefe and others who have the guts to take a stand in this world for what is right.
Tim King: Salem-News.com Editor and Writer
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