Sunday May 19, 2013
Made in Canadaby Daniel Johnson, Deputy Executive Editor
I didn't write this letter, but it's an open letter to Stephen Harper, our conservative Prime Minister
(CALGARY, Alberta) - I didn't write this letter, but it's an open letter to Stephen Harper, our conservative Prime Minister
Dear Mr. Harper,
Please find below our suggestion for fixing Canada's economy.
Instead of giving billions of dollars to banks who will just squander the money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, we suggest the following plan. You can call it the Patriotic Retirement Plan:
There are about 10 million people over 50 in the work force.
Pay them 1 million dollars each, severance for early retirement with the following stipulations:
1) They MUST retire. Ten million job openings - unemployment fixed
2) They MUST buy a new car. Ten million cars ordered - Car Industry fixed
3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage - Housing Crisis fixed
4) They MUST send their kids to school/college/university - Crime rate fixed
5) They MUST buy $50 WORTH of alcohol/tobacco a week ..... And there's your money back in duty/tax etc
It can't get any easier than that!
P.S. If more money is needed, have all members of parliament pay back their falsely claimed expenses and second home allowances.
If you think this would work, please forward to everyone you know.
Also: Let's put the pensioners in jail and the criminals in nursing homes.
This way the pensioners would have access to showers, hobbies and walks.
They'd receive free prescriptions, dental and medical treatment, wheel chairs etc and they'd receive money instead of paying it out.
They would have constant video monitoring, so they could be helped instantly, if they fell, or needed assistance.
Bedding would be washed twice a week, and all clothing would be ironed and returned to them.
A guard would check on them every 20 minutes and bring their meals and snacks to their cell.
They would have family visits in a suite built for that purpose.
They would have access to a library, weight room, spiritual counselling, pool and education.
Simple clothing, shoes, slippers, PJs and legal aid would be free, on request.
Private, secure rooms for all, with an outdoor exercise yard, with gardens.
Each senior could have a PC, a TV, a radio and daily phone calls.
There would be a board of directors to hear complaints, and the guards would have a code of conduct that would be strictly adhered to.
The criminals would get cold food, be left all alone and unsupervised. Lights off at 8pm, and showers once a week. Live in a tiny room and pay $300.00 per week and have no hope of ever getting out.
Think about this (more points of contention):
COWS Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that during the mad cow epidemic our government could track a single cow, born in Alberta years ago, right to the stall where she slept in the barn?
And, they even tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to locate 125,000 illegal immigrants wandering around our country. Maybe we should give each of them a cow.
Also; Think about this ... If you don't want to forward this for fear of offending someone -- YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM! It is time for us grumpy old folk of Canada to speak up!
For my American neighbors: Consider the numbers proportionately and it might just work south of the border as well.
Daniel Johnson is a born and raised Calgarian. He is currently working on a book The Occupy Wall Street User Manual which is scheduled for publication in spring 2013 by Polymath Press In 1990 he published his first (and so far, only) book: Practical History: A guide to Will and Ariel Durant’s “The Story of Civilization” (Polymath Press, Calgary) Newly appointed as the Deputy Executive Editor in August 2011, he has been writing exclusively for Salem-News.com since March 2009 and, as of summer 2012, has published more than 210 stories. View articles written by Daniel Johnson
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